Review: The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August by Claire North

My longtime friend and former colleague, Matthew, recommended I read this book. Knowing Matthew does not read fiction very often, and judging by his positive feedback on this novel, I realized it was a must read and downloaded it onto my Kindle.

The story line centers around Harry August, a boy born in a train station restroom on New Year's Day 1919. Harry is an ouroboran or kalachakra, a person that is born, lives, dies and so the cycle repeats. His birth date remains the same, but the manner of his death (and the date thereof) differ as a result of his choices in that specific life. Harry is also a mnemonic, which means he remembers everything from his previous lives, even the tiny and insignificant details.

I don't want to give the plot away, but Harry soon becomes embroiled in a plan to delay the end of the world.

This book is an absolute thriller, and will hook you within a few pages. I've never had to use the Oxford dictionary function on my Kindle as much as what I did for this book. It is intellectual and opens up the mind to a whole different school of logic. If you are looking for some insightful theories into the universe, then this is definitely for you. Maybe I found it more fascinating because the idea of reincarnation is so exciting.

Tiny disclaimer: The book does not discredit Christianity, but some religious people may be offended by some of the author's views and remarks.

If you read (or have read) the book, please share your thoughts on it. I would love to receive your feedback.

The Five Love Languages

Recently a friend recommended a book to me - The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If you haven't already read it, and are in a committed relationship/marriage then I would say this is one for you.

Through talking to some friends, I discovered that the above material is covered in pre-marital courses, and thus they have implemented what they'd learnt into their everyday lives. If nothing else, it has helped them understand their spouse and given them an insight into how their other half functions. No relationship is perfect, and as much as many couples don't want to admit, we all have our ups and downs. Our in love moments, and those where you want to throw the nearest object at your partner's head. 

It happens. It is normal, and it is healthy.

Granted no couple should constantly be at each others throats or storing their divorce lawyer's number on speed dial, but the occasional disagreement and exchange of words a few decibels louder than Gordon Ramsay on a bad day is normal.

Basically, Gary Chapman has discovered five categories of people and after taking the survey on the website, a person is matched to their love language. The five languages are:

                                              Words of Affirmation
                                                    Quality Time
                                                         Gifts
                                              Physical Touch; and
                                                Acts of Service.

William and I took the survey and found out that we fall into the Words of Affirmation and Quality Time categories respectively. Having read the book and carried out some internet research, it now seems obvious that we behave the way we do and get offended when the other doesn't "get" us. It makes sense. 

William prefers to hear words of encouragement and praise as a symbol of my love for him, whilst I prefer spending time with him. Doing anything really. Taking a trip together, going to dinner and a movie, and just generally being in each others company. But don't get me wrong, him watching TV while I am trying to have a conversation with him does not count. I need his undivided attention. Want to rev me up? Fine - just play on your cell phone while I'm asking about your day. Nothing stirs up my inner tiger more than a person being physically but not mentally present. 

Because our love languages are different (and it is apparently extremely rare that two parties to a relationship share the same love language) we expect more from the other but don't really want to sacrifice our personal love language to please our partner. 

The friend that recommended the book to me is in the exact same situation as I am. Her husband is also a words of affirmation guy, and she was saying how hard she is finding it trying to converse with him in his native language. Not normally a vocal appreciation girl, she is making a conscious effort to remember to compliment him on that new shirt he is wearing. The book lists a few guidelines on how to boost a WoA person's ego, but at the end of the day the compliment has to be an honest reflection of how the spouse feels.Saying it without meaning it is pointless.

This brings me to the other condition: tone. Saying 'Wow, that colour looks amazing on you!' in an appreciative manner is very different to a non committal tone, and instantly your partner knows the compliment is forced or untrue. I suffer from word vomit. Seriously. Words leave my mouth in an unfiltered, thoughtless manner which often causes me to regret them the instant I've spoken them. I say exactly what is on my mind without considering the impact they have on the recipient. It is wrong and something I need to work on. I have been careless in the past and hurt William, which was unintentional, but nevertheless unacceptable. By the same token, I hope that William will learn my love language and begin to interact with me in that manner.

Each party to a relationship is guilty, and I'll say it again, no-one is perfect. We all need to reign ourselves in, stop, and think about how our words and actions affect others. Learn their love language. Meet them halfway.

Having read the book, I highly recommend it to others. Go to the website and take the survey, I guarantee it'll open your mind to a new adventure.

Friends that have already discovered your love languages: what categories do you and your partner fall into? And how did you go about interacting once finding out? I'd love to hear your stories!

Literary Review: Bared to You, author Sylvia Day

Surely you've heard of the "Crossfire" series? The next big (read erotic) trilogy since 50 Shades of Grey last year. Yes, this series (published June 2012) reads like a soft porno and will have a few conservative readers blushing at intervals.

But is it good?

Naturally a story line around such purely sexual behaviour can only be so dramatic, needless to say if you are after an insightful or thought provoking novel, this one is NOT for you.

One can't help but notice the similarities between the two series, almost to the point where the reader wonders if Sylvia Day copied EL James' scripts and changed some of the details? As the 50 Shades series was published first (May 2011) it is assumed to be the original. I'm not pointing fingers but rather making an observation.

Here are some of the keynote points:

Similarities

• Both Christian Grey (50 Shades) and Gideon Cross (Crossfire) are hugely successful corporate billionaires, that seem to possess the business acumen of Donald Trump and Richard Branson combined. They are both under 30 years of age and have troubled backgrounds.
• Ana (50 Shades) and Eva (Crossfire) have similar sounding names. Both women have recently finished varsity and are entering the working world in a city far from what the call home. The female and male lead characters are introduced at (wait for it)...their places of work. Ana and Eva's parents have both separated, and both women feel a strong connection to their fathers as their mothers have moved on and remarried. The two women strongly rely on their roommates for emotional support.
• The plot: girl meets boy. Girl likes boy, but feels inadequate/unequal/undeserving of him. Boy likes girl too. Boy fears his tortured past may ruin their relationship. Enough said?

Differences

• Gideon is not as experienced as Christian in the S&M field, and the bondage/dominant/submissive bit is downplayed largely until the last few chapters of the book.
• Eva is more street wise than Ana. Being older than Ana (24 vs 21), she isn't a virgin but has her fair share of demons.
• Gideon doesn't propose marriage to Eva (a la Christian) when he fears he may lose her.
• Gideon and Eva are turning out to be the more mature couple for their willingness to attend both individual and couples counselling.

Read the book, and let's compare our thoughts. Until then, I'll continue with book two in the series "Reflected in You"

Happy reading!