Bridging the Gap: December 2014 to June 2015

This will be my first post of 2015 and the first week of June has almost passed.

This is not the blog pace originally hoped for, but to say I hit the ground running this year is an understatement. 

Here are some of the highlights:

1. Changed jobs

January was the worst month for me work wise. Realising how unhappy I was at my workplace, and worse yet taking the bad vibes home with me, I decided a change needed to be made. My mom and William lived with a miserable individual that took no joy in anything. Evidently the 'I'm OK, everything is OK' facade I was fronting was ineffective. One weekend in February, I made the decision to resign. No, I did not have another job lined up. All I wanted was to get out of there. As I had not been employed at the company for a year or more, my notice period was only two weeks (which felt longer than the entire 11 months I had actually worked there). I had given it my best shot. I was unhappy from about three months into the job but thought maybe I was slow to adjust and needed to give it more time. It was tough leaving my work family, although most of them left around the same time as I did or shortly thereafter. We had bonded under difficult circumstances, brought closer together by the unhappiness most of us were experiencing. We were each other's coping mechanism. 

I'm now in the Insurance industry and absolutely loving it. The culture of the company is so much better than the previous company, and staff actually feel valued. I look forward to going to work each day, as opposed to dreading the inevitable drama.

2. Studies

I registered for my Postgraduate Diploma in Accounting Sciences through UNISA. This qualification is level one of the Honours degree and if I am successful, level two will take place next year and thereafter Board exams. All in a prospective Chartered Accountant's journey. Initially there was a fair amount of hesitation as to whether or not I would register. It had been a tough (and long) journey so far and I doubted my staying power to see through yet another difficult academic year. In the end my curiosity as to whether or not I could do it git the better of me and I registered. Two semester tests have been written so far, and two more are around the corner. Exams take place in October, and although I feel ore confident now than at the beginning of the year there is still much work to be done.

3. There have been so many happy occasions!

• Mellisa and Kriben got married in an intimate and stunning ceremony at the Oyster Box Hotel in Durban on 1 May 2015. Congratulations friends - wishing you many happy years together.

• Janine (my sister) and Craig got engaged in February and are planning their Spring 2015 wedding. I'm one of the bridesmaids and look forward to sharing in the special day later this year.

• Angie & Roger welcomed their son, Diego, into the world on 2 June 2015. Happy and healthy, Diego arrived on Ange's expected due date. Congratulations to the new parents - sure your little one is going to bring so much joy to your lives.

I definitely aim to post most regularly from now on, but until then have a fantastic weekend further.

On the Eve of my 28th Birthday

Another year has zoomed by (ringing some truth into the phrase that time flies by after the age of 25) and tomorrow I will be 28. Wow, when I was younger anyone over 25 was deemed OLD!

28.Two years away from the big 3-0.

It is around this time that the average person starts thinking of everything they wanted to do before attaining the age in question, but have not due to whatever reason.

This past year has been a really good one for me. I have ticked off most of my goals for 2014 (save and except for the scuba diving course that I really still want to do) so therefore it has been a productive year.

A few things I can say about getting older is that:-

1) Sleeping past 7am on a weekend is damn near impossible (and staying up after 11pm is a record); 

2) You realize who and what makes you happy (and who/what doesn't);

3) The realization that you need to look after yourself (there's no such thing as a soul transplant) Eat healthy, exercise regularly, reduce alcohol consumption, etc; and 

4) Listening to your own instincts or intuition is more reliable than any prior knowledge.

If I think of how different my life at 27 compared to my mom's life at 27, there is really no comparison. My mom had been married for six years, had a three and a half year old daughter. She was also a widow at that age. I am neither a wife nor a mother, and have thankfully been spared the heartache of losing my significant other. Our experiences up till now have been extremely different, but I am so lucky to have my mom. I have learnt ALOT from her

Goals for my 29th year on Earth:

1) Do that scuba diving course! 

2) Travel to Egypt and visit the Pyramids & Valley of the Kings;

3) Be a better person than I am today; and
4) Develop Soleil-Femme (a logo and official hosting would be a nice facelift)

Where's that chocolate cake?

Month One Down And Two Causes for Celebration

Starting with the good news, recently our friends Guy & Kirsty Lidbetter announced they are expecting a baby.  Kirsty - you have such a beautiful nature and a motherly instinct that comes so naturally - watching you interact with Ella and Lexi during our visit last year proved this point hundredfold. Guy - you are going to be spending many a weekend teaching baba how to hold a baseball bat, and hit that winning shot (if it's a little boy), or practicing your batting skills for when your daughter brings her first boyfriend home. Just playing. Congratulations Guy & Kirst, you are going to make the most fantastic parents and we are so happy for you. Baby Lidbetter is due October or thereabouts. 

A picture of the parents-to-be taken whilst adventure golfing in July last year

Ali & Lee welcomed their son, Patrick James Piron into the world on Saturday afternoon - congratulations to big sister Georgia, both sets of grandparents, and all the aunts, uncles and cousins. May Patrick bring much joy to you all. We look forward to seeing some photographs of baby and his family. Best wishes Ali & Lee!

The Piron trio at the beach last July

 I may be a week or so late but I did it! I survived my first month at the office (insert happy dance here). I'll blame month end madness and having to submit an assignment as the cause of the delay of this post.

It was not a smooth ride, and at times I felt frustrated that I wasn't at the level I wanted to be - not knowing what where when or why. I referred to this period as the "washing machine days". Life continued around me, but I felt I had no control over anything, nor did I know which way was up. As the days and weeks passed, I slowly acclimatized and started settling down. If anyone says they knew exactly what they were doing in a new position from day one, I think they would be stretching the truth. Just a little.

Here is a summary of my first month:

• I locked my boss out of SAP by incorrectly entering her password three times (I felt like a real idiot).
• I almost fell down the stairs. Luckily only one person saw my near miss though. He laughed, I laughed and then he carried on working - thank goodness for small victories.
• I have made an enemy out of the IT department. They refuse (OK it is protocol so I can sort of understand their side) to answer any questions or assist with anything - even if it will only take a minute of their time - until *dum dum dum* a call has been logged! This was before I even had a laptop, so just how was I supposed to log a call? Grrrr, frustration is. Now I joke with them in asking if I need to log a call with them before they can respond to an email. Yep, this is going to be a love/hate relationship.
• I have called many people by the wrong name and (felt extremely embarrassed when they corrected me).
• I called five people into the office and explained the reasoning behind their salary increases. This gem fell onto my plate as my boss was on leave that day otherwise I normally wouldn't handle such matters.
• I have used much more Excel than anyone should ever have to in their time on Earth. Yowza, death by cells and formulae.

These points may all sound negative, but looking back on the month, they are the ones that stick out the most. There have also been good experiences, like meeting and getting to know the people within the Finance department, and meeting the Financial Director of Africa and the Middle East. I have learnt alot about the logistics industry, and been rather chuffed to be given responsibilities that require trust. 

I am also no longer the newest person in the department, after the Accounts Payable Team Leader started this past Tuesday. Today, myself and the newest addition to the team commenced our three day official induction. It was extremely interesting and so many blanks have already been filled in. We even visited the company depot at OR Tambo International Airport, and were taken through the life-cycle of a parcel. Excited for day two tomorrow.

Wishing you all a pleasant week.

The Problem With... Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day originates back to the 14^th century when it received its first connotations about love, and since then has become one of the most celebrated occasions on the calendar.

Call me a pessimist/killjoy but I’ve never been one to partake in the money making gimmick that is Valentine’s Day. Retailers promote the “day of love” in order to boost profits, and one can almost picture the MD of Cardies rubbing his hands together in delight. An example: 12 red roses normally sell for less than R200 but because it’s Valentine’s Day the price doubles to R400!

R400 for flowers (that although pretty) will wilt and die in a few days. Sure – prove your undying love for your partner with some botanicals that won’t make it past Sunday. Flowers aside, teddy bears; chocolates; and those cheesy “I heart you” mugs are all marked up 200%. Restaurants go the extra mile by offering a three course meal with the clichéd violinist, to serenade their patrons. Oh, and to justify the price they’ll even throw in some chocolates. How generous.

Then there are the couples that get engaged on Valentine’s Day. To each their own, but honestly how many other people (in the same restaurant) are going to be fishing rings out of their champagne glasses? Be original!

My fundamental issue with Valentine’s Day is why not show your love/appreciation for your partner every day of the year? Why are we limited to one day? The best gifts or dinners are the unexpected ones. Prices are cheaper and restaurants are emptier.

What am I doing for Valentines? William and I are going to watch a movie and we’ll probably have a home cooked dinner. There’s no one else I’d rather spend my evening with, partaking in one of our favorite things to do.

Whether you celebrate the occasion or not, have a happy Friday and good weekend!

Job Hunting is not for Sissies - Part 1

After two years at home as a full time accounting student, I have decided to re-enter the workforce and am currently in the job market.

I now know (and understand) why some people stay in the same dead end job for years. They're unhappy, but it's way better than being out there in the shark tank. Job hunting is a roller-coaster. There will be peaks when everything is going well - and you literally feel like throwing your arms up in the air and screaming "woohoo" - and also pits, where your heart is in your throat and you are very tempted to push the emergency stop button and exit the ride.

Securing an interview boosts self confidence and job seekers are instilled with fresh motivation. They are worth something. They CAN secure that position. Elation. Happiness is. And then there are the moments when you have never doubted yourself more. When a recruitment agent is picking your CV apart like a microbiologist examining the stem of a plant, your self confidence decreases. They question everything. Rightfully so, though. They need to know who and what you are before sending you for interviews. For once I am on the receiving end of numerous questions and requests to provide supporting documents. The auditor becomes the auditee. Recruitment agents audit candidates.

This is how the process works in South Africa: a candidate applies for a position (submits his/her CV) on one of the many job websites. The recruitment agent that posted the advert reviews the CVs and makes a short list of the suitable candidates for the relevant position. The agent then contacts the short list of candidates and arranges to meet them for an interview. Candidates are required to take copies of their Identity Documents, drivers licenses, Matric and tertiary qualification certificates, a photograph, and their last/most recent payslip to the interview. That's just the start of the admin. Once at the agency, candidates are required to fill out indemnity forms, confidentiality; disclaimer and biographical information forms. Forms to consent to ITC and criminal record checks are also signed. Fingerprints are taken and only after that will the agent sit down with you. Again, these checks are all within reason as the responsibility of making an successful placement rests with the agent.

Up till now, I have met with four recruiters.

Recruitment agent #1: This agency (well renowned company with branches all over South Africa) is situated in Boksburg. I ran the verification gauntlet above, and then had to complete competency tests on Microsoft Excel and Bookkeeping. The Excel test comprised simple (make the text of a cell "bold") and more difficult (reformatting graphs and tables) questions. I managed to pass, luckily. The bookkeeping test went much better than the Excel test and I scored 96%. Yay me. The consultant didn't quiz me on what type of industry or environment I'd like to work in (which I feel are pertinent questions), nor did she ask about my interpersonal skills or long term goals. The agent had a position in mind for me, and to be honest I think that was it for her. I was the perfect candidate and she wouldn't have to look any further. The company in question was in the agricultural industry, situated in Booysens (the not so nice part of Johannesburg). I went for the interview, and although the managerial experience and responsibility were plus factors there were also some negatives to it. I discussed the job with my mom, William and a few friends, slept on it and then decided the next morning to turn it down. Some may question my reasoning with this decision, but I felt it was better to wait for a better suited opportunity to come along than accept the first offer simply because it was an offer.

Recruitment agent #2: A friend referred me to this purely financial oriented agency in Midrand, after having dealt with them recently. After agent #1 I was hopeful that this would be the key. This consultant was everything agent #1 was not. She was warm, friendly and she encompassed the vision of a recruitment agent I had in mind. Our conversation points included personality traits, technical specifications, ideal work environments, hopes and dreams. Real in depth getting-to-know-the-candidate stuff. She mentioned a position that had become available just before Christmas at a multi-national French cosmetics company that I would be suitable for, and I was elated. A French cosmetics company! What more could a girl ask for? I took French to IGCSE level in high school. The name of this very blog is of French origin! Heck, I'm even considering buying a French car. It was fate. She told me not to get my hopes up as she would have to confirm that the vacancy had not yet been filled, but it was too late. I was already day dreaming of business trips to Paris, attending glamorous photo shoots for products and improving my vocabulary and cultural skills.Failing that vacancy, the consultant assured me she had other opportunities for me so I should go home and wait for her call. I did. She never got back to me regarding the French job (or any other for that matter) so I assume there's nothing available at the moment. I'm disappointed.

Recruitment agent #3: This referral came from a family friend, and our interview was held in Johannesburg. The consultant was bubbly, friendly, and vibrant but possesses the analytical skills worthy of the law degree she holds. After questioning me about my previous work experience, qualifications and personality, the conversation moved to prospective work environments. A question that came up in all three of my interviews was: How do I handle conflict? My response was that I am not an aggressive person and will try solve matters with the other party in an even manner . Should that be unsuccessful I would call a senior member of staff to assist. At the time it seemed a strange question, but looking back it was very important as conflict between staff members arises frequently, and no company wants to employ a candidate with anger issues. The consultant then asked if I would be interested in returning to an audit firm. No deal. My experience in public practice built character, and taught me about many different industries but it can be soul devouring at times. Besides, I'd like to experience the work environment on the other side of the fence - that way I can make an informed decision about long term prospects. I was told that not wanting another public practice job eliminated a fair amount of vacancies, but I should sit tight and wait as new vacancies come up every day and the right one was out there for me.

Recruitment agent #4: I responded to an online advert for a vacancy on PNet, and agent #4 contacted me to set up a meeting at her Benoni based office. This time I was required to complete a typing skills evaluation. I'm not the fastest typist but I managed to score in the 90th percentile (fist pump). As per usual, she went through my CV with a fine tooth comb and asked questions like "Why has it taken you so long to complete your degree?". Fair enough question but on that day I took it a bit personally. I replied evenly with "I started articles and studying at the same time" but in my mind I was totally defensive. The agent moved on to interpersonal skills and asked why I thought a company should hire me. What does one say that a million candidates before them HAVEN'T said? The usual buzz words such as loyal, honest, hardworking, attentive to detail, etc immediately come to mind. I picked the ones I felt described me best but this agent wasn't appeased. She told me that since I had very little interview skills she would coach me on the best way to answer these questions. Apparently one should use one of the abovementioned qualities and then back it up with an example. I was then asked if I had won any special awards or similar at my previous workplace. Um no, auditing isn't really the "Employee of the Month" type of industry. At the end of our interview, the agent said she would like to send me for an interview at a mining equipment company not too far from home.What I've learnt in the job hunting game is that it encompasses the hurry-up-and-wait mentality. Nothing happens quickly.

I haven't left the hunt solely up to the recruitment agents. In between meetings with them, I have been trawling PNet, Careers24 and Career Junction. I have responded to adverts in the local newspaper, followed up on friend's referrals and taken a long shot by emailing my CV to companies that list their HR department contact details on their website. Some respond to acknowledge your email, advise you there aren't any suitable vacancies at present but will keep your CV on file for future reference. Others don't respond at all.

That is where I stand at the moment. Two weeks of active job hunting in, and I am experiencing many emotions. Frustration, excitement, impatience, hope. Yes, the right job will come along at the right time, sooner rather than later though - preferably.

Happy New Year!

Allow me to take this opportunity to wish you all a very happy new year. May 2014 be filled with love, happiness, and be YOUR year. 

2013 and its troubles are in the past, so you now have a full, blank year (well 362 days more like) ahead to mould and shape into your personal preferences.

Have you made any new years resolutions? Most of the time people do not carry out their resolutions, for many a reason - be it lack of interest, or any other valid point.

Perhaps the term "new years resolution" is also partly to blame. What happens when you only commence an item on your list in say June. Is it then called a mid year resolution? Does that fact alone render the item invalid?

I prefer to call them goals. Essentially, that is what they are. A person wants to lose weight, or take up a new hobby, learn a foreign language, work hard in order to be promoted or complete the current degree/diploma. A goal just sounds so much better too. It inspires motivation, and the feeling of accomplishing that goal is empowering.

I listed my goals in my last post, and although it has been said that making a list puts things into perspective for a person, it isn't guaranteed to be less daunting. True, knowing what you need to do is half the battle won, but actually carrying out the act may be easier said than done.

2013 was not my best year by any stretch of the imagination (and all my own doing and I accept responsibility for that), but I vowed to turn 2014 into something I could feel proud of. Lately I've felt to be in limbo. 

Why? 

Maybe it's because the job hunt hasn't quite yielded the results I intended it to. I have lost my sense of worth just sitting at home and feel an employment contract will reignite my passion for life. There are so many things I want to see and do, but require that monthly paycheck in order to begin. Quite possibly, my expectations have been too high. Seriously, some people wait months to find their ideal job and I've only been actively looking for a couple of weeks. I have forwarded my CV to some recruitment agents and am holding thumbs for some interviews later this month, once everything has returned to normal following the festive season. In the meantime I will maintain my positive outlook and the trust the right job is out there waiting for me. 

All the best for 2014, readers. Spend time with those you love, and challenge yourself to do something you fear - it's all about the happiness factor and personal growth.

On a very happy note, last night our friends Carey-Anne & Ryan welcomed their little girl into the world. Congratulations Mom & Dad de Goede, may your daughter bring you much happiness and joy!

Until next time.

2013 - A Year in Review

2013. The year of the snake according to the Chinese zodiac.

An excerpt from Zodiac.com:

Ride the calmer waters of 2013 with ease!

Expect an exciting year, not necessarily for the faint of heart! The Year of the Water Snake begins February 10, 2013 and ends January 30, 2014. Be bolder and more open-minded as this year unfolds!

Do your best to get organized as the year begins. Setbacks, delays, and a need for some do-overs can challenge everyone's patience and resolve. In a Snake year, jealousy and keeping secrets works against everyone's best interests. A big lesson for all is to have the courage to face difficult emotional truths and still be true to what your heart tells you.

A snake of a year indeed. Personally, it hasn't been one of my best years, and come 31 December I will be very glad to see it go. In fact, I'll wave it goodbye with as much gusto as I can muster.

Things I've learnt in 2013:

1) Doing things for yourself is empowering. Those small niggly DIY tasks, or perhaps trying to do something new that you would normally ask someone else to do. You'll be surprised at the sense of accomplishment you'll feel when the task is completed. By the same token, if you try and don't succeed - ask for help. This was a big lesson I learnt in 2013, and remember there is no shame in it. 

2) Fix damaged friendships/relationships as soon as possible. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to fix and although things may never be the same again, you will salvage a relationship that (at some point) meant a great deal to you. Try, and if the other party is not forthcoming, step back. There's only so much a person can do.

3) How to budget. Wow, now this one was educational. In today's tough economic times, a person has to budget. It is a necessity. The cost of living has skyrocketed. Between increased fuel prices and thus inflated food prices, higher electricity costs and fewer salary raises, citizens are forced to count their pennies and carefully calculate their spending. The latest gift the South African government has given us is E-tolls, right in time for Christmas, which only adds strain to the average man on the street's already fragile residual income. To combat this, I have taken out loyalty cards at most of SA's major retailers. True, my purse can barely close for the Dis Chem, Clicks, Pick n Pay, Woolworths, and Edgars loyalty cards that are in it, but every little bit helps. I may only get a tiny percentage of my spending back, but it's better than nothing right? Another trick is to rather take your own shopping bags when doing grocery shopping, and this alone saves you 27c per bag. It's all in the small things.

4) Happiness is a choice. Yes, I understand depressed people will argue that it's a chemical imbalance and they cannot control their happiness meter. I agree, but believe that these people can choose to be happy. Take that first step to seek help, and therefore choose to be happy. Go to a pychologist for counselling, and then if prescribed, take the anti-depressants. No-one can help you unless you want to help yourself.

5) Give back. Whether it be your time at an animal shelter or at a children's home, or if time is in short supply, a donation of either cash or goods. Many charities in our country do not receive government funding, and rely on the goodwill of residents to keep them going. I need not remind you of Karma, and what goes around comes around.

Right, onto highlights and lowlights:

Peaks of 2013

- Top of the list is our overseas holiday in June with my grandparents to celebrate my mom's 50th birthday. We did a cruise of the Greek Isles and Turkey, followed by a few days in Croatia. William and I then continued on to the UK for a week and caught up with some old friends - easily one of my favourite trips abroad.

- I lost a good deal of weight and became a fitter and healthier version of myself (blog post to follow in the new year).

Pitts of 2013

- Academically, it was a bad year. I was unsuccessful in passing the one undergraduate module in order to complete my Bachelor of Accounting Sciences degree. It is a subject I've always battled with, but have accepted that I need help in order to pass (see life lesson one)

- Some prominent people in my life really struggled this year, and the shockwaves from their battles impacted on me. Not going into detail with this one, but the problems have been rectified and going into 2014 I am hopeful that these issues will remain in the past where they belong.

Goals for 2014

* Pass that nasty subject (Group Financial Reporting) and graduate. 

* Find a fantastic job that enables me to travel (ha ha) and reignite my sense of self worth.

* Complete an Open Water Scuba Diving course and dive a ship wreck off the coast of Durban.

* Generally - spend time with those that mean the most to me. Quality time quality time quality time!

Thank you for taking the time out to read this blog, it means more to me than you know.

Wishing you and you families a very Merry Christmas and all the best for 2014 (the year of the horse).

Suicide - It Can Be Prevented

An incident occured in our suburb last weekend which prompted me to write this post.

A resident was threatening to commit suicide. Luckily, someone had the presence of mind to call in the professionals, and a chaplain was able to talk to convince him/her not to go through with the act. The person required hospitalisation, but will be receiving the treatment he/she desperately needs,

Untreated depression is the number one cause for suicide.

Sadly it is at this time of year where suicides are more prevalent. Christmas is approaching, and so is the financial burden that goes with it. Whilst not all cases are finance related, some people are lonely and will go to any means necessary not to spend the festive season alone.

According to the International Association for Suicide Prevention, the top five negative life experiences that may cause depression are as follows:

* The death of a loved one

* Divorce, separation or break up from a spouse/life partner

* Serious/terminal illness

* Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)

* Alcohol and drug abuse

Statistics

There are 23 suicides per day in South Africa.

230 attempted suicides per day.

One million people commit suicide annually.

This figure is expected to increase to 1.53 million by 2020.

One in five people suffer from some form of mental illness.

South Africa is ranked 8th highest in the world for suicide.

Having been personally affected by suicide (my dad took his life when I was three years old), I feel passionately about the subject. I also get angry when it is considered an "embarrrasment", and then a secret. There is nothing to be ashamed of! The fact that suicide is one of those topics that doesn't get much airplay is partly the reason the statistics are so high.

People suffer from depression. Sometimes it may seem like there is no solution to the problem. Maybe he/she hasn't considered asking for help.

One thing I do know is not enough awareness surrounds suicide. World Suicide Prevention Day is commemorated annually on the 10th of September. Lifeline encourages people with suicidal thoughts to contact them through their various communication channels. But what about a day-to-day basis?

Shouldn't this be something that is taught in schools? During Guidance lessons, or life orientation perhaps? Likewise for adults - shouldn't the Human Resources manager promote therapy to staff and make the info readily available?

Yes, I realise people live with many of their own problems and a highly visible suicide prevention demonstartion may take their happiness meter down a notch or two, but unfortunately that is life and we need to deal with these hurdles. Instead of burying our heads in the sand, we need to confront the situation. This way we can help people in time.

According to a report prepared by The University of Cape Town, the following are warning signs of suicide:

* Talking or joking about suicide

* Self criticization or minimization

* Changes in personality

* Loss of interest in appearance/hygiene

* Risk taking dangerous behavior

* Excessive feelings of guilt

If you suspect a colleague/friend/family member may be depressed, don't ignore your gut feel. Approach them, maybe that person is counting on someone to rescue them. What kind of people would we be to ignore our fellow man's suffering? The South African Depression and Anxiety Group has the following tips:

Be direct.

Talk openly and matter of factly about suicide.

Be willing to listen.

Allow expression of feelings.

Accept these feelings.

Imagine reaching such a low point in your life where you truly believe you are responsible for  everything that has gone wrong and there is no solution. No way out.

But there is. There is always a solution to every problem. The key is to seek help.

I (my two half sisters, their mom, and my own mom) miss my dad terribly. There s not one day that goes by where he doesn't cross our minds. Or a special occasion where we think "We wish our dad was here". Yes, he is missing out on some really great stuff, and the fact that we he won't be able to give his three daughters away at their weddings, or watch his grandchildren grow up, is sad. These are the consequences of his actions that we all have to deal with. My dad was depressed. He'd been a Sergeant Major in the South African Army, and had not had an easy childhood. But he was too proud to seek help. And this was his biggest mistake.

Prevent the action before it happens. Seek help.

Contacts and references

The South African Depression and Anxiety Group - www.sadag.org.za

Lifeline - www.lifeline.org.za

International Association for Suicide Prevention - www.iasp.info

Suicide Prevention, Awareness & Support - www.suicide.org.

Angie & Roger tie the Knot

On a happier note, my good friend, Angelique Jooste recently became a Mrs when she married Roger Dias.

Angie & Roger met three years ago at a work social, and got engaged last October. The wedding date was set as the one year anniversary of their engagement, being the 26th.

The venue, Soli Deo Gloria Boutique Hotel, is situated in Northriding, Johannesburg. 

The ceremony took place in the hotel's beautiful garden, and thankfully the weather held out. There were a few ominous clouds that threatened to move the vows indoors, but by the time the ceremony began the sun shone beautifully in the afternoon sky.

The maid of honour, Jackie and bridesmaid Fatima, wore beautiful plum sweetheart cocktail dresses and Angie wore a stunning mermaid style dress with beading on the bodice. I doubt there was a dry eye in the house when the father of the bride shook Roger's hand and presented his daughter to the groom.

The service was conducted by an Irish priest, and comprised a good deal of humour which the congregation enjoyed.

Instead of having a ring bearer, the rings were transported down the aisle in a different manner...

The reception followed in the evening, and what an amazing job Angie and the decor team did. The colour scheme was purple and red and whilst one may think these colours would normally clash, they actually complimented one another and produced a breathtaking sight.

The cake (and some of the decor) was centred around the couple's love of nature and the "guestbook" was wood from a tree trunk. The cake was a beautiful three tier (chocolate, vanilla and fruit cake) and the toppers were monkeys. Anyone that knows the couple is aware that they affectionately call each other macaco (monkey in Portuguese).

Later in the evening, the DJ announced that the cake toppers had been taken and kindly asked whoever had taken them to please return them. Roger's mom, Emilia, later explained that the stealing of the cake toppers is a Portuguese tradition, and whoever takes them must return them to the married couple on their first wedding anniversary and take the couple for lunch/dinner. Fascinating!

Once the speeches and formalities were finished, Roger & Angie opened the dance floor with more than the usual one-two-shuffle they told us to expect (nice one guys). Rather the newlyweds did twirls and dips and looked so happy and at ease. 

What a lovely wedding it was, one that the guests will remember for years to come.

Wishing the new Mr & Mrs Roger Dias a lifetime of happiness and love.

I Just Don't Want to

Have you ever been invited to an event/party/concert/movie/festival that you really really have no interest in? And instead of being honest and saying "Nah, that's not really my scene", you come up with an excuse. A lame one.

Like...

"My dog is going through a rough phase right now and I need to spend quality time with him/her." Or "I've already committed myself to going curtain shopping with my mom."

Why do we behave like this in this day and age? Why do we need to lie to cover up our true feelings of just not wanting to attend the event in questions? The answer is we don't. We're all adults and if your friend/sibling/coworker is offended by your honest reply of "I just don't want to", then he/she is not very considerate of you. 

Too bad, so sad. They'll get over it. Remember, what goes around comes around and that person will probably experience something similar in the near future, and then he/she will understand.

So, be honest. If it's not your thing - say so. Life is too short to do things they don't want to.