Recently I was the subject of a person's attention. Unwanted attention of course.
The individual in question is male, a pensioner and married. I met him at a local community meeting, and last October he took my cell phone number off the attendance register. Initially he texted me about matters relating to the committee we both serve on, and sent me pictures of his children and their families. Harmless enough. Then the messages turned to those of a more personal nature. The content could never be considered inappropriate, but they made me feel uncomfortable. As an example, the subject varied from my exams to Christmas plans. Then there was the plain bizarre - the scout's promise. I told William what was going on and showed him the messages. He suggested I ignore any future incoming texts, which I did.
On average I would receive three to four texts per week (which I either curtly responded too in the beginning or ignored by the time November came around), then as time progressed the numbers increased to approximately ten per week. By that stage I had long since stopped responding, hopeful that he would get the hint and leave me alone. My plan failed. When he realized he wouldn't get a response from me, he resorted to phone calls. I wouldn't answer.
Whilst I believe this person's intentions were good, and perhaps he was lonely, I marveled at his perseverance in trying to engage me in conversation. Eventually I downloaded a call blocking application and blocked him. No texts or calls. I sighed with relief.
The matter reached a head this week when the call blocking app failed and I received a text from him:
"Simone - it seems we can't be ourselves so any relationship is going to be uncomfortable - that's sad?"
That was the last straw. I had reached my boiling point. I'd tried the polite but direct approach of ignoring him, so now I was going to be honest. No uncertain terms. This has gone on for far too long, and I had grown tired of seeing his name appear in the sender's field of a text message. I'd been made to feel guilty for being innocent. I wondered what William thought, if maybe I had lead this person on (which I most certainly did not) but I realized how it may seem. If the roles were reversed, I would feel so many emotions but most of all anger.
I replied to the message, telling him to never call or text me again. Ever defiant, he sent back: "Shame!"
Thankfully, since then I have not received any form of correspondence from him and I hope that trend continues. What I experienced cannot even be considered similar to what women that are stalked (or worse yet, raped) go through and I hope I never find out. No means no.
Gone are the days where we feel compelled to be respectful to others if they are stepping over our personal boundaries, irrespective of age, rank or other.
Stand up for yourself, because at the end of the day, you can only rely on yourself.
The individual in question is male, a pensioner and married. I met him at a local community meeting, and last October he took my cell phone number off the attendance register. Initially he texted me about matters relating to the committee we both serve on, and sent me pictures of his children and their families. Harmless enough. Then the messages turned to those of a more personal nature. The content could never be considered inappropriate, but they made me feel uncomfortable. As an example, the subject varied from my exams to Christmas plans. Then there was the plain bizarre - the scout's promise. I told William what was going on and showed him the messages. He suggested I ignore any future incoming texts, which I did.
On average I would receive three to four texts per week (which I either curtly responded too in the beginning or ignored by the time November came around), then as time progressed the numbers increased to approximately ten per week. By that stage I had long since stopped responding, hopeful that he would get the hint and leave me alone. My plan failed. When he realized he wouldn't get a response from me, he resorted to phone calls. I wouldn't answer.
Whilst I believe this person's intentions were good, and perhaps he was lonely, I marveled at his perseverance in trying to engage me in conversation. Eventually I downloaded a call blocking application and blocked him. No texts or calls. I sighed with relief.
The matter reached a head this week when the call blocking app failed and I received a text from him:
"Simone - it seems we can't be ourselves so any relationship is going to be uncomfortable - that's sad?"
That was the last straw. I had reached my boiling point. I'd tried the polite but direct approach of ignoring him, so now I was going to be honest. No uncertain terms. This has gone on for far too long, and I had grown tired of seeing his name appear in the sender's field of a text message. I'd been made to feel guilty for being innocent. I wondered what William thought, if maybe I had lead this person on (which I most certainly did not) but I realized how it may seem. If the roles were reversed, I would feel so many emotions but most of all anger.
I replied to the message, telling him to never call or text me again. Ever defiant, he sent back: "Shame!"
Thankfully, since then I have not received any form of correspondence from him and I hope that trend continues. What I experienced cannot even be considered similar to what women that are stalked (or worse yet, raped) go through and I hope I never find out. No means no.
Gone are the days where we feel compelled to be respectful to others if they are stepping over our personal boundaries, irrespective of age, rank or other.
Stand up for yourself, because at the end of the day, you can only rely on yourself.
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